Daydreaming and the Multi-Universe Theory

I was thinking, in Advance Algebra (we were talking about planes and coordinates with x, y, z.), about the Multi-Universe which Sean had kindly thought about with me.

We were talking about how I wish Tsuna was real and that I married that cute little shit, but he rebutted it saying that in another universe, I already am married to Tsuna.

That made me so, so, soooooo happy.

Which lead me to daydream about it happening. It would be beautiful, y'know? The wedding I had with Tsuna and stuff... ah, I'm blushing...

Anyway! While Ms. Algebra taught us about the 3 coordinates and stuff, I thought

What would happen if what we're daydreaming, is just a looking glass through other universes?

Like, when I was daydreaming about Tsuna marrying me, it could already be happening at the exact moment (or after it, like a memory) in a different universe, a different world!

And another me, from one of those universes, are daydreaming me typing this up. Someone, another me in a different Earth, is daydreaming about me having a normal life.

Probably more normal than theres...

It's amazing... just the thought that you can see other different universes through your mind; not to mention, it doesn't have many faults in it other than that it's just a theory and stuff.

Inspiration

Inspiration is when you have that feeling in your heart that starts beating quickly and you feel that the world has become more beautiful. That inspiration drives you do better and to do something about the feeling that seemed to grow within your fingers and toes, blending into your emotions, just to let the world know you are in complete and utter amazement. The inspiration makes shivers dance on your spine and make you smile uncontrollably. Others will think you’re weird, or on borderline crazy, but you could care less as the feelings envelope you in euphoric happiness. 

That’s what inspiration does to you, and like the wind, it disappears after a period of time, leaving an empty gap in your mind and soul. It wears off after some time, but that feeling that comes and goes is like a sin. You desire it, but you deny it to reject that empty emotion, but you go back for more till you’re sick of what gave you that inspiration.

Vox Populi

I've been looking for this song for quite a long time. My choir has planned on singing this beautiful piece.

It just sucks that many people are not very into it as much I hoped.

Apparently, these types of songs are not 'hip' enough for them. But you know what? Screw them and their ideas.

I love this song.

https://blackboard.westside66.org/bbcswebdav/pid-276659-dt-content-rid-1304004_1/courses/WHS_Choir-Warrior/Vox%20Populi%20%28Giedrius%20Svilainis%29%20-%20Baylor%20University%20Concert%20Choir%202011%20.mp3

I'm Done With Guys

Call me a bitch, but I now believe that pretty much all guys are jerks.

He said he liked me, and I agreed to go out with him. And then he, roughly a week or so later, goes out with another girl. Claiming that we weren't really 'dating'.

Fine badass.

Do what ever you want.

Envole-Moi by M. Pokora

IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME I FOUND THIS SONG!!! >OOOOOOOOO

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xud2ri_envole-moi-m-pokora-et-tal-chante-goldman_music#.UaS5wVtEg7Q

My Trip with Sherlock

(I feel like an author today so this is just a random thing XD)


It wasn't very welcoming, you know.

He was mean and cynical to every damn thing, not to mention he has that edgy-ness in his voice that manages to piss anyone off. I'm getting use to it, yeah, but still. Makes you wonder how Mr. Watson deals with Mr. Holmes.

More like, how will I deal with him? A middle-aged man, single, and has a mind of a robot only built to look at mysteries. "Married to his job," Mr. Watson said once. I could only roll my eyes.

Today was rather boring. I only stayed here in England to write a report on how social I can be, and that's like asking a turtle if he can write how to fly. So, I lounged on a sofa, staring idly at Mr. Holmes as he plucked the E and D strings on his violin near the window.

"Sherlock," Mr. Watson called from the kitchen, "Have you read the news? I think it might be interesting."

The said man just continued plucking, no longer staring out the window, "Watson, really? A murderer on the loose by killing his victims by lynching them? How unoriginal." I groaned, rolling away from Mr. Holmes. What type of case does this man desire anyway? Homicide? Suicide? Simple stealing? 'I just had to live with this anti-social freak.'

Mr. Watson strolled into the living room, slightly chuckling, "Typical. What about Barns's case? The one with the serial killer?"

"Not interesting, Watson."

"Hm." I wonder how do men stay friends with a conversation like this? I rolled back to face Sherlock, seeing Mr. Watson drink his coffee in one hand while the other was holding the newspaper. I spotted two other cups on the coffee table; one juice and the other coffee.

"Really," I croaked, my voice surprisingly dry, "Juice, Mr. Watson?"

"Well, we had some. I thought you might like some." He replied.

"It suits you, child," Mr. Holmes added, his mouth twitching to smirk. Ass. Mr. Watson quickly sent a soft glare to his friend.

"Now, Sherlock."

"All she does is eat and sleep." The tall man replied, "A waste of time and space. Not to mention she forgot that she's wearing her shirt inside out. A dirty shirt, hence the ketchup stain from the hotdog she ate when she went out with her friend 2 days ago."

I looked down at my shirt, and truth be told, it was inside out and the stain from my hotdog treat was still on it. Fuckin'--

"Sherlock," Mr. Watson hushed, causing the man to return back to his habit; staring out the window whilst plucking the strings. I hissed when I stood up and walked back to my room. I nodded at Mr. Watson as a thank you gesture, and closed the door.

I sighed deeply when I thought about 2 days ago. Mr. Watson and Mr. Holmes were busy on a case and they refused that I would go with them and that I stayed home with Mrs. Hudson. I was very reluctant to stay, since the case itself was very interesting. But no! I had to stay home and chill with Mrs. Hudson. Not like she's bad company, it's just that I really wanted to go.

So, I stayed home. Mrs. Hudson had alot of things to do, and we decided to complete them together. The first thing we had to do was go shopping form some dinner to prepare for Mr. Holmes and Mr. Watson. She would often joke around, 'I'm not their housekeeper, but they do need someone to take care of them. Men. They can't seem to take care of themselves, especially when it comes to Sherlock.' I couldn't stop laughing at the image of Mr. Holmes cooking up a meal for himself.

When we bought all the materials we needed we ran into this lady who called herself Molly Hooper. I thought it was a pretty weird name, but then again, I have a weird name, too. We chatted for a while and discovered that she had a not-so-secret crush on Mr. Holmes. Mrs. Hudson was all over Molly, explaining his habits and what he does all day (not forgetting to mention that Mr. Holmes often shoot his walls when he's bored). Mrs. Hudson tried her very best to convince that Molly's a sweet girl, and to aim for a different man instead. Molly, of course, wasn't convinced. 'I like Mr. Holmes for who he is,' She defended. I had to bit my tongue back to prevent me from saying, 'Loving a jackass. Typical.'

I then thought about how I felt. About Mr. Holmes and Mr. Watson. I didn't really care much about them, although there were times where I felt like worrying about them. Those thoughts washed away as soon as I saw the hotdog stand, and immediately ordered one. Molly also ordered a hotdog while Mrs. Hudson simply asked for a nice cool drink. We all sat down at a table, chatting about nonsense and such.

Until some douche bag stole Mrs. Hudson's purse. I was pissed. I yelled at him to stop, glancing around to see if anyone wil do anything, but no one reacted. I ran.

I felt my legs fly over the concrete ground, slowly but surely catching up to the thief  As soon as he paused when he saw a car come up, I leaped on him, both of use falling into the ground. I harshly took the purse from him, "Better not try that on me, su-kah!" 

And I awkwardly turned around, seeing many people stare at me before slowly clapping. In the crowd, I spotted Mr. Holmes and Mr. Watson, both surprised at my victorious action. Molly and Mrs. Hudson soon came up to me, panting hard.

"D-dear, you shouldn't have done that!" Mrs. Hudson spoke, making me grin shyly.

"Well, stealing is bad," I replied simply, "So, it's only right I took it back for you, right?" Mrs. Hudson chuckled softly as Molly hugged the living daylights out of me.

"You had me worried there!" She yelled, smashing my face against her chest. I managed to squeeze out of her grasp when Mrs. Hudson told her she's suffocating me.

"Jesus, Molly!" I gasped. She apologized softly, smiling a bit.

All the while, the man behind me glared holes at me, pulling a sharp pocket knife. Somewhere in the crowd, a woman screamed loudly as the thief lounged at me, aiming the knife at my heart. I swore time started slowing down as the thief moved from his position, the knife sharping in the light. Just as the knife was about to edge into my heart, Mr. Holmes blocked the attack.

He grasped the thief's writs angrily, I could tell it would be bruised soon enough. "Committing murder in the streets, Mikey?"

"W-what? How do you know my name?"

Mr. Holmes merely smirked, about to 'simply educate us' about the man, "Back of your shirt, there's a mark with your name. How's your mother by the way? Seems like she hasn't gotten the news of you stealing from old ladies and killing young girls, now then? But what about the shoes. Oh, you live far off of England, aren't you. You have dirt and, sadly, feces on the bottom of your shoes, and the walkway here is pretty clean. Not to mention the outskirts of England have lots of farms, meaning you're not a city boy but a barn boy. Now tell me, why and what is a farm boy doing here in central England? Must've been because of your business, recently going down the drain and you have resort to stealing. From this experience, you're completely new to this sort of thing since you're not just a farm boy, but also a fisher. You catch fish, sell the fish, profit. However, you recently join a new crew, and that new crew requires you to meet a certain quota that's out of your current reach. So, to reach this quota, you decided to steal just to get. You. By."

I awkwardly shift to one side, watching the thief's life flash before his eyes. The thief, now named Mikey, slowly and hesitantly released the knife. Mr. Holmes harshly pulled away from the man, glaring holes at him as Mr. Watson pulled me close.

"Are you okay?" Mr. Watson asked kindly, grasping my shoulders. I nodded, staring at the thief and then at Mr. Holmes.

"Mr. Holmes--"

"We're going home. Now." Was all Mr. Holmes said icily, briskly walking aside the thief. Mr. Watson sighed, apologizing to the crowd that Mr. Holmes was in a bad mood because I was in danger. Molly and Mrs. Hudson hesitantly accepted it, but Molly was unsure leaving me alone.

Mrs. Husdon kindly explained to Molly, "Don't worry dear, it's Sherlock's own way of caring for <name>."

'Right.'  I idly thought, slowly following's Mr. Holme's stride. 'Mr. Holmes, a cynical old man who cares more about cases than others, is worried about me. What a joke.'

Forensics

I just started my day, and, like 'normal', I'm thinking about pigs.

Whut. XD

In my Forensics class, we're on a unit with decomposition. Mr. Pig just so happens to be our test subject. What we're looking for is how long will the pig last outside; and it's pretty horrid outside since the weather here is always going back and forth. That's Nebraska for you. (=w=")

I wanna go back to my bed and sleep. It was so warm in my bed and outside is so cold and unwelcoming. ( ;3;) The world looks better when I'm in bed snoozing away XD

Don't Play With My Heart!

Dear Physiology class,

It would help me if you would stop prodding and poking my heart. I understand that it's for the name of science, but when you kids jab at my aorta and brachiocephalic vein with those sticks, it really hurts. Be gentle next time, or else I'll take my heart to rot with me.

Sincerely,
Mr. Pig

A Friend I Call Fox

There's this girl I met online (on dA.com you idjits) and she's really awesome. >w< I actually feel more loved around her than from the people in real life. At first, we were just poking around, wonder what we had in common.

And we have alot of things in common.

Our friendship became escalated to total awesome weirdos who are more awesome together than being awesome alone. She's 18, and lives in Maine. Oh, she also said today she was going to a new sushi shop in Bragan, Maine called 'Ninja Sushi'. I can't believe they named it that; they must be truly japanese. XD

I hope she finds a boyfriend. She's a really nice person, and she's just. Too. Awesome.

Well, I'm probably calling her that because she always cuddles my face off whenever we rp (in a non-perverted way; I meant it as a game/geek/otaku way). Plus, we have this awesome plan of one day ruling the whole world with our awesomeness own a café. oUo

Not like ruling the world is a bad idea... Ufufufu~

So, I guess I should be feeling more positive, but I just can't. I haven't seen him again... And I feel a bit lonely. I can only talk to Fox when I get on dA.com... I don't have any other communicative connections to chat with Fox; if I did, I wouldn't be typing this.

I really miss her already. She's the only person I can proceed to be a creepy weird girl online without having to be 'polite' and hold back my thoughts or views of the world. Plus, she's always giving me hugs. Like, proper hugs not sure if jumping on me and cuddling my face off counts as a proper hug, but it beats any of there other 'hugs' I get from my other friends.

What should I do now...? I can't talk to Fox, I still have a stupid crush on PT-asshole, and I'm already feeling like this week is dead.


*weeps* I-I want to cuddles someone now... qnq

Let's Keep A Sharp Eye

These past few days have been pretty weird. I've gotten more positive, and I had never seen so much socializing in just a few days. Is it weird? I mean, I normally don't attract attention, and I mostly just sit in the back of the room, but these past few days had been pretty strange to me. I got more... er... I guess I can call it attention. Not much, but definitely more than the previous months of numbness and boredom and angst and all that jazz.

Why do I say 'all that jazz'? Doesn't rhyme, but it fits. Like an overused cliché. Huh.

Maybe things are gonna get better for me after all.

Well, Spring Break is starting next week, and I got a lot of free time by then. And I've been drawing quite a lot, too...

What a strange week.

My Card

Okay, my mom has my debit card.

AND SHE SPENT ALL MY MONEY. ALL OF IT. THERE'S ONLY $2 LEFT IN MY ACCOUNT. What the living hell, am I gonna use $2 for, eh?

If she gave me a reasonable reason, then I'll push it aside. BUT REALLY.

$120+ DOWN THE DRAIN.

WASTED

MY

MONEY.

I've never been so upset as much as this.

And it was my card. Mine! I was saving that money for an electric guitar.

I was saving that money...

My money...

Now I'll never get that electric guitar. I'll never save enough money. She always does this, thinking that I'm  a child and not being able to do this. This is stupid! I'm willing to say that the money could be spent on food and laundry, but seriously? I would very much like it IF YOU NOTIFIED ME FIRST.

UGH.

Temporal Doppler Effect

Ever heard of the Doppler effect? It's when a the sound travels to you, either high (loud) or low (soft or distant). Just look it up.

SO! What's the temporal doppler effect?

It's when the past feels longer than the future. Doesn't the week before feels longer than the next week, eh? Let's say, a week before Valentine's day, I ask you that I want a stuffed animal. On the day of Valentine's day, you forgot and made an excuse saying that it was a long time ago that I requested that gift!

Temporal doppler effects our timing. When you have numbers labeling time, it seemed like what felt like forever was just a couple days ago. Magical, eh?

How I got this info was from my mail. XD

Dark Thoughts That Loom

I sometimes wonder who I am in my story. Everyone has a story, but what character?

Am I the princess? Or perhaps the queen? Maybe I'm a knight or a perhaps a maid? What will my plot be, or do I even have a plot?

My head hurts... I really need some sleep...

Back Again

I'm down in the dumps again. I completely forgot half of my homeworks and now I'm so screwed.

I failing most classes now. And I don't know what to do. Not to mention I don't know how to deal with these things very well...

I guess running away can't solve a problem. Unless you're being chased by zombies.

And It's All About Me-me-me-me-meee

-----------• × • A L L A B O U T | M E • × •--------------

Name: Mancy
Single or taken: (forever)Single
Gender: Female
Birthday: July 11th
Sign: Crab/Cancer/the emotional bitch of the zodiac
Hair color: Brown
Eye color: Chocolate (my eyes look delicious XD)
Height: 5'4'' I think
Are you straight/bisexual/gay?: Straight (If I was a guy, I'd be gay.)

-----------• × • F A S H I O N | S T U F F • × •--------------

Where is your favourite place to shop for clothes?: I don't really know. The mall?
Favorite designer?: None
What is your sexiest outfit?: Pshhh I'm sexy enough without my clothes (Jk, my big pink t-shirt that says, 'Get A Life' with a picture of a mushroom from Super Mario XD)
What is your most comfortable outfit?: Jeans (preferably bootcut) and a T-Shirt (big, large, and comfy)
What do you usually wear?:  Jeans and a T-shirt lol

--------------• × • S P E C I F I C S • × • -------------------

What kind of shampoo do you use?: Head n' Shoulders. I think. I change shampoos alot.
What are you listening to right now: The Golden Age by The Asteroids Galaxy Tour (I heard this song for the first time on a Heineken beer commercial XD)
Who is the last person that called you?: Maman
How many buddies are online right now?: I don't have any buddies online ;w;
-------------• × • F A V O R I T E S • × •-----------------

Foods: Shrimp Fried Rice, Ferrero Rotchers (buy this, and I will marry you)
Girls names: Suki, Mancy, Prima, Anabella, and... yeah.
Boys names: Tsuna, Hibari, Gokudera, Yamamoto, Rian, Thomas, Matthew, Arther, Alfred, 
Subjects in school: Art, Music, Math, Literature, Forensics, and possibly even Physiology...

----------------• × • H A V E | Y O U | E V E R • × •-------------

Given anyone a bath?: Pets and my little cousins XD
Smoked?: Bleh, why would I want black lungs if I can have pink? 
Bungee jumped?: I WILL WHEN I GET MOAR MONEY! >0<
Made yourself throw up?: I-uh-I uh what?
Skinny dipped?: Which is... uh... no.
Ever been in love?: If I had, I would've had a ring on my finger.
Made yourself cry to get out of trouble?: Not really...
Pictured your crush naked?: Well, if it's Tsuna-kun.
Actually seen your crush naked?: Tsuna-kun. Naked. Done.
Cried when someone died?: I'm a CRAB. What do you think?
Lied: Lol I never lief before >w>
Fallen for your best friend?: Huh? My bffs are girls...
Rejected someone?: Yes, and I kinda feel bad because he really did love me
Used someone?: Why use them if I have the awesome me?
Done something you regret?: I don't think I have... 

------------• × • C U R R E N T • × •---------------

Clothes: Blue bootcut jeans, blue retro t-shirt, red/pink fuzzy jacket, tennis shoes, and my lucky blue watch. 
Music: The Golden Age by The Asteroids Galaxy Tour
Smell: Fresh 
Desktop picture: >3> I don't like it, since I'm using my schools computer. 
CD in player: None last time I checked
DVD in player: None

----------------• × • L A S T | P E R S O N • ו----------------------

You touched: Uh uh uh uh I think it was Sam
Hugged: Sam
You IMed: Hyu-myo? I think it was Ciera
You yelled at: I never really yell... 
You kissed: My cat this morning. Always give kisses to my cat <3

---------------• × • A R E | Y O U • × •---------------------

Understanding: Abit stubborn but yeah XD
Open-minded: I'm Miss Stubborn! I can be at times, but I'm mostly stubborn 
Arrogant: Arrogant... depends.
Insecure: Isn't everyone these days?
Random: Bwaha, depends on who's hanging out with the awesome me.
Hungry: As always. :9
Smart: Lol in some areas. I'm not that smart. Just intelligent in multiple areas that most people don't really exceed in at my age.
Moody: I'm A FREAKIN' AWESOME CRAB. I'm bound to my emotions!
Hard working: No.
Organized: Surprisingly, yes.
Healthy: Psh, nah. Imma be fat when I grow up. XD
Shy: When I'm in a flustered mood.
Difficult: When I'm in a stubborn mood.
Bored easily: I'll be bored at around 12 o'clock.
Obsessed: WITH LITTLE TSUN-TSUN. <3
Angry: Why should I be angry?
Sad: Why should I be sad? o.o
Happy: When I'm in a happy mood XD
Hyper: Not much, but I have my moments. :D
Trusting: Innocent until proven guilty, eh?

---------• × • W H O | D O | Y O U | W A N N A • × •--------

Kill?: Someone.
Slap?: Someone.
Get really wasted with?: Tsuna <3
Get high with: Tsuna <3
Talk to offline: Offline?
Talk to online: Anyone really.
Sex it up with: Tsuna, and only Tsuna.

------------------• × • R A N D O M • × •---------------------

In the morning I: roll of my bed and end up getting a bruise on my hips. And leg. And shoulder. And head. 
Love is: like an apple. If you let it rot, it will rot. But it's still sweet.
Sexual preference: I like gay men. 
What do you notice first in the sex you're into: Hair. lol, and then their body types. That's when I use my fujoshi powers to decided either or not he's an uke or a seme.

---------------• × • W H I C H | I S | B E T T E R • × ---------------

Coke or Pepsi: MTN DEW RULES ALL.
Flowers or candy: Flowers! I like the smell of Lilies <3
Tall or short: Tall and short! Medium is best XD

---------------• × • W H O • × • ---------------

Makes you laugh the most: I haven't been laughing a lot these day ;-;
Makes you smile: lots o'stuff. I enjoy the simple things in life XD
Gives you a funny feeling when you see him/her: Tsuna *faints*

--------------• × • D O | Y O U | E V E R • × •-----------------

Sit on the internet all night waiting for that someone special to IM you?: I'm actually wasting my time on netflix watching Doctor Who and Sherlock (Benedict is fuckin' brilliant)
Wish you were a member of the opposite sex?: Sometimes... I don't have a lot of guy friends.
Wish you were younger: Hu-myu... My childhood was pretty disastrous so...
Cry because someone said something to you?: Cry? I nearly made her loose her tooth! ;o;

-----------• × • N U M B E R • × •--------------

Of times I have had my heart broken: Once...?
Of hearts I have broken: Two :I
Of guys I've kissed: One (first bf)
Of girls I've kissed: ...I faintly remember kissing a girl, but I'm not so sure...
Of CD's I own: A buh-gillion (most of them are my moms.
Of scars on my body: A guh-gillion.

Transfer Your Money to Me

I just go a new bank account with $50 in. I need about 200-250 more dollars to reach my goal of buying myself the guitar, the bag, and the dress.

Stop looking at me weird and give me your money >3>

It is Just a Coincidence or Luck?

My day has been pretty normal.

Aside from the fact my computer totally lost the side keys. I was so screwed. I accidentally dropped it when I walked down that stairs of my apartment, but noooooo

My hand had to have this stupid spazz moment and decided to drop the freakin' laptop. Which made it loose the tab key, caps lock, space bar, shift, and horrifically, the delete key.

I gave it to the computer wizs and took it in and said they'll fix it up by 2. The price? $133.

I barely had $20 and they expect me to be this rich gal that will flaunt her money everywhere.

I told them I'll return by then cause I had classes. Atleast most of the classes don't need the laptop. Albeit, I really needed to turn in my essay for Forensics.

When I thought this day was going bad to worse, my luck changes.

I was in the library, looking for a book since there's no laptop to play games on, I found this book.

Called 'The Only Ones' by Aaron Starmer. I thought it was pretty creepy, and I pulled it out to read the back. But you know how those books would have those random comments and quotes from people you don't even know, and it's applied on the back? Yeah, the book had one of those. So, rolling my eyes, I opened the book to read the description on the flap, and guess what I found?

$15.

Freakin. 15. Dollars.

My eyes weren't rolling anymore.

I looked around to see if this is some kind of sick joke or a random game show my school decided to host and choose me, but nothing was out of the ordinary. No laughing jocks. No giggling high school girls. No random host guy that always pops out of no where. I shrugged.

I went up the librarian and told her that there was money in the book and I was really suspicious of it. She took it with a weird smile, and scanned it.

Turns out, no one ever checked out this book. So, by default, I get the money.

I took it and stuffed the money away in my bag and I stared at the book, for a really, really, long time. I kinda thought that the book was calling out to me or something. Because no one checked it out, it must've gotten lonely. It was on the shelf of popular books, like Harry Potter and The Hunger Games. It probably felt pretty awkward and out of place. Ironically, that was what I kinda felt, too, sometimes. Not a lot, but it's there. Every time I walk in this school, I try to look for a place to fit in. And when I find myself some space, nothing seems to be right. In the wrong place, in the wrong time, on the wrong self? Maybe I just needed someone to read me, to understand, and maybe give me a bit of love.

*yawns*

I'm going to spend my days as carefree as it is. That's who I am really ;w; A carefree little girl, who can be so emotional sometimes and cries while watching soap operas whut

So, with my life going back in order (when was it out of order?) I'm going to focus on saving lots of money to buy myself the same guitar as Yui from K-ON! And get this! It's a very beautiful Heritage CherrySunburst Gibson Les Paul Standard guitar! Pretty cool, huh? >w<

I also want to save up to buy myself this: http://www.cosplayfu.com/product/Yui+Cosplay+(ED)+from+K+ON#.US-M6Y4ZxVg

Which only costs around $100.

Sooooo, let's add up eh!

Costume  - $100
Yui's Guitar - $160 (pretty bloody cheap and I freakin' love it)
Strap + Bag - $21 + $31 (the strap costed more than the bag XD)
-------------------------------------------------
So, it's in the price rang of $300 ~ $320.

>3 ONWARDS TO SAVE MONEEEYYYYY

Back to the Daily Life

*stretches* The rollar turmoil coaster is now over. I'm returning back to my basic life. Which involves singing, dancing, drawing, and basically being the Queen of Jack's trades.

Things I MUST do:
- Play 'Fuwa Fuwa Time' on guitar (might video record it.)
- Sing 'Ten-Faced' (possible publishing IF I like it)
- Draw chibis
- Draw bodies (preferably men. I'm so use to drawing girls, it's awkward drawing guys.)
- Finish UTAU contest and actually post it
- Get some homework done before I do alllll of this^

Impossible Things

There are things I want to create. That's right. Love isn't always about boys, it's about the action. Has anyone ever told you what love is? I bet few has even read the definition.

love  

/ləv/

Noun An intense feeling of deep affection

Verb

Feel a deep romantic or sexual attachment to (someone)

Now you know, that love is the deep affection you feel towards a person or thing or idea. The more common one you know, is the verb. I choose the noun. 

I think there's more to life than just love. I think there's romance, adventure; life is something in you. Not in what's around you. Sure, the things effect you does things to your mind and morality, but think about it. 

You never made it this far without those little things. You wouldn't think, you wouldn't walk. Why, you wouldn't even be reading this little blog rant! And to think of all the things you thought was simple was impossible!

Did you know, back in the old days, choirs were for males only. And since the people knew that when boys hit puberty, their voice can no longer reach the high notes, they chop off their... um... willy. e///e

I have poor vocabulary, Caused by the father of mine who I'm ashamed to even say his name. He needs help, I offered. He rejected. His choice.

A lot of people say that, 'when life hands you lemons,' etc. etc. Since I mentioned that 'life' is 'us'. Think about it.

Why are you handing yourself lemons. Everyone's life is different, so there must be a reason why you got those lemons. Make it into juice? Throw it? Crush it? Your 'life' is simply asking you what are you going to do to these lemons. It's not asking you to make Jesus turn it into water or something. It's all about you, and what you make of the things you got.

Ever since...

Ever since I came to this school, my life has been going through a straight line. Just no, ups or downs. No happiness, no sadness. It's all straight. And boring.

Before, my life was this little ball of wibbley-wobbley flimsy-whimsy stuff. And I had fun with that ball of random stuff putted together. I'm not sure how I should described it, but the days before is much better than the days I have now. I wonder why.

I need to study for my physiology test (I'm sure I'll fail like normal).

Overcoming Lack of Attention

There's a theory that says if you don't receive 'positive touches' 8 times a day, you're more likely to be moody. And that's pretty true. Positive touches are anything really. Hugs, holding hands, kisses, ect. ect. Anything that allows you to be touched (as long as it's not being forced. Forcefully touch anyone, and I will find you).

But moving on. Guess what I found on FB today? The guy I liked a long time ago, the one I spent my summer texting away (which is pretty hard to believe) is now reunited with his ex; aka my best friend. It's a forbidden rule to go out with a guy that has dated your best friend, but that rule doesn't apply to emotions (since emotions are uncontrollable sometimes). But now that they're hooked up, I'm pretty disappointed. He was the only guy who I called to when I was crying, during the time my mom was literally being hunted by dad. He heard me out. He heard me. No one does that. No one actually saw me cry, even if it's just hearing it. He was actually special to me.

But ever since I went to WSHS, I stopped texting him. I lost contact with him. I lost him.

And I'm pretty stupid to do that. But y'know. It's actually alright. I might never find a more gentleman like him around ever, but that's fine. I mean, sure, there's no one to tell about my inner thoughts anymore, but if he's happy (and I'm sure he is; he really loved my best friend), then there's nothing more I want.

...

I still need those 8 happy touches. I'm starting to feel like there's nothing to live for in this life of mine.

Spamspamspam

*Randomly pops out of nowhere wearing a shiny red dress*

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*grabs the website*

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And that's all, for today's spamming!

*disappears in the darkness*

Jack of all Trades, Master of none?

I'm a jack of all trades. Quite literally. I play the guitar, the piano, and the recorder (which strangely has gone missing). I draw, sing, write, and dance. I'm a trusted friend, a big sister idol, a daughter, and a cousin. I speak French, Vietnamese, and English (plan on learning Japanese and Korean).

Yet, I honestly don't know what to do with my life.

Anything that comes my way that interests me, I learn the basics of it. I never go in too deep with the information, and it makes me kinda envious of the kind of people who are only a master to one. I thought that I would grow up to become a detective, but.

I have so many things I want to be.

A detective. A doctor. A lawyer. A mother. A café owner. A wife. A forensic scientist. A songwriter. A singer. An artist. A mangaka. A choreographer. A therapist. A translator. A pianist. A teacher.

Just what am I?

...I think I'm going through an 'identification crisis'.

...

But I still wanna be a detective...

Symptoms of Wondering Too Much

I've been wandering in Wonderland too much. It helped me escaped reality, but mainly the problems involved in my life. I'm running away, yes, but can it be helped?

If a tree falls down in the forest, will anyone hear?

Another Chapter Put to Rest

It's over.

I won.

It would seem that I was emotionally hurt, but in the end, he cut the ties.

So, I won this little game of love-to-like-to-nothing.

And I'm so bloody happy.


"This game was fun, and I enjoy it, sir.
But for now let's put to rest, and live life, sir."

GAME OVER

Playing the 'Chase' Game

So. I saw him today. And since I was in a bad mood.

I ran away from him.

I saw him again.

I ran again.

...

Is it alittle too much that I'm having fun with this little game of chase?

(Well, he's not really chasing me, he just notices me running away. It's so stupid and pointless that I'm gasping out of air due to laughing so much)

On A Different Topic

I

Absolutely

HATE

TESTS.

Quizes, too! (Except ones that are about my interests)

I took the PLAN test this morning, and I'm pretty sure I failed it 80%. I don't know what to do. I'm kinda worried, y'know. And there's no one I can talk to in this situation. Other than him. Of course.

But due to the fact that he's surprisingly younger than me(the guys I've dated were usually about the same age as me and/or older), we have different classes. That one oblivious idiot.

I don't think I'm in love with him. Atleast, not any more...

...

I'm kinda starting to see a pattern here. I tend to be this little cutesy girl once I met a guy who talks to me. And I somehow mistaken that I have fallen in love with this peculiar person. But after 3-5 days...

...I kinda loose my interest in them.

Hn...

I don't think this is how love truly works. Or maybe it does? Maybe I still do like him in a kind of long-term relationship wise?

Thus, another confusing matter comes up.

I'll never understand the concept of love and like. It get's in your head, and shrouds your logic. Maybe I'm not use to talking to a guy. Maybe that's why I get nervous, or flustered, or even a little mad that they don't notice me. (Despite so, I do like the nickname he gave me, 'Phantom').

I'll never know probably. So many insecurities, I can't even count them all ;w;

I'm Very Clingy

Alright.

I admit it.

I'm very clingy.

I am obsessed with cute little trinkets, and often find myself looking back on the 'old days'. I become to lost in my thoughts, that I want to repeat my past, but it's impossible to commit the same with others. I like someone, and I have these thoughts that I want him to notice me and only me.

I'm so attached to myself and the people I love.

And, no matter how much I try to keep myself away, I find myself noticing my faults and it hurts. I want to break down and sob. Did I forget to mention I'm also emotional?

I'm more likely to cry than to smile, because of this stupid sensitivity level I have. True, I'm not perfect, but I thought I have everything controlled.

But I don't.

It's my will power I'm relying on to not jump on people and cry my heart out. Although I look cool and calm on the out, that's just my 'shell' you see. On the inside...

...I'm more than you think.

Heart-Stopping Moment

HE'S.

HE.

AFJKLHDFLK--

whut.

WHUT.

DUN LOOK AT ME LIEK DAT.

That Sorta Hurts

I was standing next to him. And he didn't even glance at me. I was waiting, y'know, that he'd turn and say,

"Oh, hi there."

But I didn't hear anything from you. You just distracted yourself with talking with that other girl, eh? Too busy, to even glance at me. Too focused.

We both know what's going on here.

What's even more unlikable is that you know I knew about this.

Stop avoiding me already.

Stop playing this stupid game against me.

Cause I'm going to lose if you keep this up...

...

Understanding the Words "Tears of Joy"

I just found my cat. I'm seriously crying with reliefe.


It turns out that my poor Mei-Mei was stuck behind the stove during the whole day. ;v;

I'm so happy she's okay.

Oh my god, I can sleep peacefully now.

Thank god.

My Cat

She missing and I'm freaking out. I've searched high and low for this cat, and she's not I'm my house. I really don't want to think that she's outside, but she's an outside cat. Which makes the situation worse because I live near the city. What's even more worse is that I have a PLAN test tomorrow early morning, and Im not doing so well with my health.

I'm in this stupid emotional turmoil where I'm so close to screaming. Unless I find my cat, I don't think I'll face anything with my emotions all over the place...

Panda Hero [Lyrics]

Pipes mixed in with scrap, 'n' wheels rusted stuck; 
Here's a town of pictures, all running amok 
Needles sticking from a long-faded dartboard, 
And a knitted hand lying on home base 

If you're ever troubled, you know who to call, 
At watchtower field, arena for brawls 
There we find our black-and-white-and-amoral hero, 
Gripping to a metal bat, left-handed 

All we hear is noise, barked from a radio; 
See, a blinking-neon bunny girl 
What they're dealing in is some kind of opium 
Deeper inward, they're all gulping it down 

"I'll be taking one, that's my only request," 
All they can present's an apple, dried up 
Grumbling lamentably and going the motions 
Now, there's nowhere for any to run! 

Pa-pa-pa-lah, pa-pa-pa-la-pah 
Smoking with steam, yes, there's riot in those eyes 
Pa-pa-pa-lah, pa-pa-pa-la-pah 
Now up to bat, it's our pinch hitter 
Pa-pa-pa-lah, pa-pa-pa-la-pah 
We have no doubts, that's our Panda Hero 
Pa-pa-pa-lah, pa-pa-pa-la-pah 
So long to yesteryear's killer liner! 

Cannibalism's the only word that they'll say 
With singing androids, that's who they choose to play 
Well, of course we do despise them - yes, our one hero, 
But, of course we long to see them - come, our one hero! 

Cannibalism's the only word that they'll say 
With singing androids, that's who they choose to play 
Well, of course we do despise them - yes, our one hero, 
But, of course we long to see them - come, our one hero! 

Pa-pa-pa-lah, pa-pa-pa-la-pah 
From third to shortstop, our aim is going wild 
Pa-pa-pa-lah, pa-pa-pa-la-pah 
Now on the base, it's our pinch runner 
Pa-pa-pa-lah, pa-pa-pa-la-pah 
To put it simply, we're two points behind 
Pa-pa-pa-lah, pa-pa-pa-la-pah 
We've got a feeling that this just won't end well... 

Adorned with a bucket, a cat wails loud, 
One, oh yes, another has now been stricken out 
Now there's surely not a chance to turn this game's tables; 
Now, there's nowhere for any to run! 

Pa-pa-pa-lah, pa-pa-pa-la-pah 
A peddling girl, glaring eyes so harsh and stark 
Pa-pa-pa-lah, pa-pa-pa-la-pah 
Buzzers, a spider child, warning lights 
Pa-pa-pa-lah, pa-pa-pa-la-pah 
We have no doubts, that's our Panda Hero 
Pa-pa-pa-lah, pa-pa-pa-la-pah 
So long to yesteryear's killer liner! 

Break to pieces, run the bases, smash the CRT! 

So long to yesteryear's killer liner!