Heart-Stopping Moment

HE'S.

HE.

AFJKLHDFLK--

whut.

WHUT.

DUN LOOK AT ME LIEK DAT.

That Sorta Hurts

I was standing next to him. And he didn't even glance at me. I was waiting, y'know, that he'd turn and say,

"Oh, hi there."

But I didn't hear anything from you. You just distracted yourself with talking with that other girl, eh? Too busy, to even glance at me. Too focused.

We both know what's going on here.

What's even more unlikable is that you know I knew about this.

Stop avoiding me already.

Stop playing this stupid game against me.

Cause I'm going to lose if you keep this up...

...

Understanding the Words "Tears of Joy"

I just found my cat. I'm seriously crying with reliefe.


It turns out that my poor Mei-Mei was stuck behind the stove during the whole day. ;v;

I'm so happy she's okay.

Oh my god, I can sleep peacefully now.

Thank god.

My Cat

She missing and I'm freaking out. I've searched high and low for this cat, and she's not I'm my house. I really don't want to think that she's outside, but she's an outside cat. Which makes the situation worse because I live near the city. What's even more worse is that I have a PLAN test tomorrow early morning, and Im not doing so well with my health.

I'm in this stupid emotional turmoil where I'm so close to screaming. Unless I find my cat, I don't think I'll face anything with my emotions all over the place...

Panda Hero [Lyrics]

Pipes mixed in with scrap, 'n' wheels rusted stuck; 
Here's a town of pictures, all running amok 
Needles sticking from a long-faded dartboard, 
And a knitted hand lying on home base 

If you're ever troubled, you know who to call, 
At watchtower field, arena for brawls 
There we find our black-and-white-and-amoral hero, 
Gripping to a metal bat, left-handed 

All we hear is noise, barked from a radio; 
See, a blinking-neon bunny girl 
What they're dealing in is some kind of opium 
Deeper inward, they're all gulping it down 

"I'll be taking one, that's my only request," 
All they can present's an apple, dried up 
Grumbling lamentably and going the motions 
Now, there's nowhere for any to run! 

Pa-pa-pa-lah, pa-pa-pa-la-pah 
Smoking with steam, yes, there's riot in those eyes 
Pa-pa-pa-lah, pa-pa-pa-la-pah 
Now up to bat, it's our pinch hitter 
Pa-pa-pa-lah, pa-pa-pa-la-pah 
We have no doubts, that's our Panda Hero 
Pa-pa-pa-lah, pa-pa-pa-la-pah 
So long to yesteryear's killer liner! 

Cannibalism's the only word that they'll say 
With singing androids, that's who they choose to play 
Well, of course we do despise them - yes, our one hero, 
But, of course we long to see them - come, our one hero! 

Cannibalism's the only word that they'll say 
With singing androids, that's who they choose to play 
Well, of course we do despise them - yes, our one hero, 
But, of course we long to see them - come, our one hero! 

Pa-pa-pa-lah, pa-pa-pa-la-pah 
From third to shortstop, our aim is going wild 
Pa-pa-pa-lah, pa-pa-pa-la-pah 
Now on the base, it's our pinch runner 
Pa-pa-pa-lah, pa-pa-pa-la-pah 
To put it simply, we're two points behind 
Pa-pa-pa-lah, pa-pa-pa-la-pah 
We've got a feeling that this just won't end well... 

Adorned with a bucket, a cat wails loud, 
One, oh yes, another has now been stricken out 
Now there's surely not a chance to turn this game's tables; 
Now, there's nowhere for any to run! 

Pa-pa-pa-lah, pa-pa-pa-la-pah 
A peddling girl, glaring eyes so harsh and stark 
Pa-pa-pa-lah, pa-pa-pa-la-pah 
Buzzers, a spider child, warning lights 
Pa-pa-pa-lah, pa-pa-pa-la-pah 
We have no doubts, that's our Panda Hero 
Pa-pa-pa-lah, pa-pa-pa-la-pah 
So long to yesteryear's killer liner! 

Break to pieces, run the bases, smash the CRT! 

So long to yesteryear's killer liner!

Weeping for Sherlock

I SWEAR. THIS GUY.

THIS.

SHERLOCK.

*weeps*

SHEERRRRLLOOOCKKKKKK

I'm sorry I was watching BBC's Sherlock final episode and I cried sobbed. ;v;

The Type?

I'm not sure what really suits my taste...

Well, what do you think I like?

I mean, they both look cute ._.

...

Choosing guitar straps are hard ;-; I should just get the black one, but the dark red/orange looks really, really cool. o3o

...

Right, since we're on this topic, my fingers has finally become accustom to the guitar! >w< AND THEY'RE SO SQUISHHHHYYYYYYYY! >0<

I love my squishy fingers <3

Private Matters

I don't really know what to put here lol

I don't normally type up funky things during the weekend because I got nothing interesting going on, usually during winter. Which kinda explains my love-hate for my school. I like to learn, especially from the many classes I take in school.

However...

I get tired really easy, although I don't show it. It's probably because I stay up late during nighttime, and sleep during the daytime. I'm like a nocturnal creature, but in truth, I'm really not.

And I know, I need to be assertive. I bet half of my college money that my Human Behavior teacher would cut me during my monologue and straight up say, "No, you gotta sleep at night. Stop staying up. You're not completing your needs."

My stomach has needs, and so does my body. But I reckon you can't understand that either, considering how much you've been interrupting me. I really hate it when he does that. It's like...

"Hey, how are you--"

"I'm sorry, but go take a seat."

"B-but I was just--"

"Take a seat."

"..."

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. Even during a rush hour during lunch, regular teacher's wouldn't do this! I like it when a teacher DOESN'T interrupt me! For once, I would love it, if I could talk to you in one complete sentence, BEFORE you say your input of the conversation.

I know you're smart, you're older, you're like this therapist that I never really needed. But please, for the love of all conversations I've had in my life,

Stop.

Interrupting.

Me.

I will sulk, and the sulking will grow if you don't do anything about it, and then I will blow up. I will tell you all your faults. I will point out the things that piss me off. I will, literally, point out any known fact in this brain of mine, that you seriously had issues and you're an extrovert, and you won't shut up.

...

I don't care if you're a teacher, or someone older. A person's a person, no matter how small, old, young, or big. How would you like it if I interrupted you? Let's see if you can try to strike back, without using the excuse of being older and being a teacher.

Just because you have a higher power, doesn't mean I don't have allies.

...

Phew. Alright. Well, that was kind of a stupid rant. But he really pisses me off sometimes!

Ugh, imma go eat...

I've Been Thinking

There are a lot of things I went through in life. And just like everyone else, I know how it feels. I know this is kinda stupid to say, but I'm sensitive to emotions. (...ah, well. Not always ;v;)

If you ask about have I ever considered suicide. I'd answer yes.
If you ask about have I ever tried to kill myself. I'd answer yes.
If you ask about have I ever felt abandoned, broken, alone. I'd answer yes.

I could bet that most people would doubt that, that I had a good life, a good home, a well-thought future. To tell you the truth, I did most of the work. I already knew this was going to happen. I already knew that one day, I'm going to deal with alot of pain caused by other people. Whut? Other people? What am I talking about?

Ever heard of 'sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me'?

Aha! But that's just a passing thought. All pain heals over time, and wounds would fade to become scars and simple scratches. Alot of people think that their scars are ugly things, and represents how much they've been hurt, mentally and physically.

But I like my scars. (Which is weird to say lol)

I can't explain it well. I'll put myself in your shoes for abit. Alright. So, here I am, in your shoes. You're smiling, so stop it. This isn't funny!

Alright, so you're not exactly the positive type like me. You're more... normal.

You like doing silly things, hanging out, and the sort that other people would think you're weird. You don't wear make-up much(if you are girl), but would apply some mascara every now and then. But from this 'daytime' personality you, you're much more darker. You're afraid of falling again. You don't like to let others come too close to you, because you don't know if they'll hurt you. Yet, you unconsciously do it, because you secretly want them to heal your wounds.

Ahhh, what am I doing here? It's too boring!

Ever thought that others had also share the same pain as you? What is this? Oh, what do we have here...? A heart! Omg, it's your heart. Oh, god look at it. It's moving. *poke* ASDAFDSDJLFHADFH IT MOOOOVVEEEDDD

...

I'm just gonna leave you're body now. ;v;

Oh well, you seem pretty normal. It's weird cause I have the same thing. Except my 'daytime' personality is literally my personality as whole. It weird isn't it?

We share the same pain, even experienced it, yet why do I have seem to have a better way of handling my life? Don't instantly think it's because I was born positive.

I was already aware that others had a really painful life. I know it's stupid for me to consider other people, but since I know what they feel, would it hurt for me to try to be there for them?

The problem is, I'm not exactly what you're looking for.

I'm not your prince charming. (I wish I was a guy though. Wouldn't hurt to be gay either :D)

I'm a girl, who knows what you're going through. I'm like... your fairy god mother. Or one of the seven little dwarfs. Or Dory from Finding Nemo. (whut)

Ah, well. I'm just saying that if you want help, look at me. For the love of god, I'm the only one waiting here for someone. (I'll even dress up as Death at your funeral whut am I saying...?)

But I'm not a mind reader (...=.=) so I don't really know what's going to happen unless you tell me.

I could just listen to you, I could tell you my point-of-view, and I could even punch that guy in the face (although, I'm not a big fan of fights ;w;).

All you gotta do, is come up to me. Steal me. Sit me down. And start talking (I'm serious lol).

But if you don't, that's fine...

...just proves that everybody has their heads stuck in fairy-tale land. :I

Mon Sebastian

I have a guitar.

His name is Sebastian.

...

I love him to death.

I Can't Be Depressed, I'm Just Serious!

Alot of my friends (from... Wonderland. I swear, that stupid Dodo bird is stalking me again, Hatter stole my money, and the White Rabbit leaves mud with his bunny prints all over my house) often finds me... er... angry.

I don't get angry, atleast not often.

Which is surprising because I'm an emotional (very ;w;) cry baby (I cried alot in elementary. Especially in sports ;v;).

But I do get annoyed! And maybe sometimes serious.

Well, I'm hardly ever serious. That's why if you ever see me serious, it's probably not true. On the out, I have this stupid bored/annoyed poker face, but truely I'm probably fantasizing about Tsuna-kun wearing a maid outfit.

Wait.

Brb.

Here you go!

My reaction was just like Mukuro (the guy with the purple/blue hair).

Because you know Tsuna is too moe~ moe~

And it's pronounced as MO-EH. NOT MOE. IT'S WEIRD. YOU DON'T CALL SOMEONE CUTE MOEEE. It's like calling someone anorexic celery! It just doesn't adsdfhsldkj fit! D<

...

Well.

^I guess I was kind mad. But as in crazy, insane, and the kind you all love.

Oh, there are three types of mentalness.

---Sanity (people who just... normal. And making your hair bright green doesn't count)

---Mentanity (I made it up btw and they're people who are, literally, mentally ill)

---Insanity (Awesome people AKA ME. >D)

And so, now that that's cleared up, I'm an insane person. No wait. I'm an awesome insane person.

Oh, right. 

...

What were we-- RIGHT! Me being angry! Well, short-story, I don't get angry often (only twice in my whole life ;w;) and when I do, people kinda run away from me ;3; I'm all like 

"Bodies droppin' to the flo', bodies droppin' to the flo'."

With this dark entity surrounding me. (I call him Midnight o3o)

I mentioned I got angry twice, which was back in 6th grade, and the more recent one, in 9th grade.

In 6th grade, I got mad at these girls talking behind my back (as in, they were really behind my back). This girl named Nicole bitch was talking about how I was cursing in the lunch room (I did, but I didn't really care), and that my friend was a whore(*stabstabstabstab*).

She still has her pretty face though.

...

I promise! I didn't do anything to her! ^^; I can be evil, but karma did most of the work =w=.

In 9th grade, I was angry over my sketch book. qwq

I get verrrrrryyyy attached to my sketchbooks. They literally hold all my hearts, my crushes, my imagination. They are the gate to my insanity.

And I lost it in choir.

I. When I realized I couldn't find my sketch book, midnight came out and my friends were looking at me with this weird look.

Luckily it was the last class of my day, so I went looking for it. I asked friends, the students, even my teacher. 

And I asked them.

"Oh I don't know. Go ask somebody else." You know black girls look at you, with that disgusted look on their face and that's literally saying 'whos dis bitch lookin' at?' and you have this small urge to smack the living crap out of them until they cry and weep?

...

Oh God, my dad really did influenced me. That, and my bad experiences with... er... one-colored people. ;v;

So I asked them, they gave me this stupid look, and walked away moving their heads side-to-side like peacocks. I know it was stupid of me to quickly assume they were the bad guys, but I really didn't like them. My friend, Cici, knew what was wrong with me and dragged me away before I really make someone cry and weep... ovo

We went back to the choir room and searched every nick and cranny until I found my sketch book on top of a shelf. I vaguely remembered putting it there and Midnight instantly vanish. You could literally feel the whole room light up, even Cici was face palming in the back.

As I was about to exit the school, I saw those girls again, and they gave me 'the look'.

"You found yo' book?" I was normal, I was happy, I had my sketch book and every things okay. I gave them a forced smile ad nodded.

"Yeah, it was on the shelf."

"Be careful, you don' know if someone'll steal it." And they walked off. True, I felt bad for instantly assuming they were the one to steal my treasure, but I can't help it. I just have really bad experiences with black people. I only met two types in my whole life, it's the nice and sweet one or the bitchy-type. 

I've met the bitchy-type more often than the nice-n'-sweet one. ;v;

I met a fair amount of nice people also, like Alexis or Natasha. 

Hell, my best friend (who's my very VERY FIRST Bff) is black. (her name's Isreal, her birthday's July 14th, born in the same hospital with me, even the same room qwq).

So, take it from me! Never judge a book by it's cover. That's why you read the back! XD

Physiology Class

Once again, my Physiology teachers reminds me so much of Ms. Frizzle from The Magic School Bus series. She even has the hair.

So.

Here's what she looks like:

Wake Up to the Smell of Chlorine.

._. Seriously, I didn't want to smell this early in the morning. I'm half awake, and I'm in swimming class. Atleast, I'm not swimming.

No, wait.

It makes my situation worse.

The swimming room is really humid, it feels like I can just lock the air into a jar and it'll turn it moist. Not to mention I don't really know anyone here and of course, I'm alone as always.

I should go and stalk someone today. I wonder if he's open 10-11 mod?

What's a mod anyway? Modulation? Moddy? Modalicious?

whut.

No one ever tells me these things, but then again I never asked.

But they never spoke, so it's not my fault o0o

Atleast I ate something this mornin'...

Hello/ How Are You by Ink

Ink is my utauloid ;w; He's so cuuuttteeee <3

Unless you're not a fan of vocaloid songs or what of the like, then don't watch!

Swimming Class

Checklist: (Must be completed by this following Friday)

- A swimsuit (one-piece only; design does not matter)

- Goggles

- Towel

- Optional: T-shirt (cotton; short sleeved)

- Optional: Head cap or tie hair up

...

Alright.

Swimming classes, her I come ;A;

Chaosu, Physiology

So, I checked my new schedule and I have two new classes (I think).

Physiology and Swimming.

No wait, let me get my schedule...

...

OH I HAVE FORENSICS.

OMG.

OMGF

ADKSJFHSKDJFH YES QUIQUIQUI

QUAISSSSSSSS!

I can't wait for classes to begin with all these funky new cool stuff. I CALL DIBS ON POKING THE DEAD PERSON >0<

End of Winter Break

Well.

It's that time again.

Where the end of break ends.

...

*weeps*

$300 Please?

A guitar.

A new keyboard.

And a brand-new keyboard.

(With a video cam charger mom needs).        +
___________________________

$300

...

Anyone willing to donate some money? Lol don't. I hope that the new check that comes in will be enough to pay for it. I realllly wanna learn how to play guitar. I want to.

Not necessarily need to, but just a simple selfish want.

Moving on, how's everything people? My news year was uneventful. Not really interesting to me. Same thing with Christmas. Alittle snow here and there doesn't make much difference in my home, since it's just me and my mum.

Although...

I have been watching Dr. Who and BBC's Sherlock. I'd lie if their fancy-smancy brittish accents have affected me. Plus, he's hot.

Both the Doctor (second one) and Sherlock.

*Fangirl Mode about to turn on, but is kept off. Please continue with caution.*

Better move onto another topic, before... uh, yeah.

What about New Year resolutions? For me, I got nothing. Maybe do something fun and enjoy my high school life, and stuff...

Stalk people, identify them, you know. The normal stuff.

BTW I heard that asians are now getting fake 'braces'. Seriously, wtf. It's like people wearing these fake geeky glasses all over again. It's like a disease.

Sometimes, this generation worries me no wait, it already has.

It's getting pretty late, and the Sherlock shows are pretty long. Happy New Years people.

Hope for something eventful to happen, when in truth, nothing happens at all.