*yawns*

I'm going to spend my days as carefree as it is. That's who I am really ;w; A carefree little girl, who can be so emotional sometimes and cries while watching soap operas whut

So, with my life going back in order (when was it out of order?) I'm going to focus on saving lots of money to buy myself the same guitar as Yui from K-ON! And get this! It's a very beautiful Heritage CherrySunburst Gibson Les Paul Standard guitar! Pretty cool, huh? >w<

I also want to save up to buy myself this: http://www.cosplayfu.com/product/Yui+Cosplay+(ED)+from+K+ON#.US-M6Y4ZxVg

Which only costs around $100.

Sooooo, let's add up eh!

Costume  - $100
Yui's Guitar - $160 (pretty bloody cheap and I freakin' love it)
Strap + Bag - $21 + $31 (the strap costed more than the bag XD)
-------------------------------------------------
So, it's in the price rang of $300 ~ $320.

>3 ONWARDS TO SAVE MONEEEYYYYY

Back to the Daily Life

*stretches* The rollar turmoil coaster is now over. I'm returning back to my basic life. Which involves singing, dancing, drawing, and basically being the Queen of Jack's trades.

Things I MUST do:
- Play 'Fuwa Fuwa Time' on guitar (might video record it.)
- Sing 'Ten-Faced' (possible publishing IF I like it)
- Draw chibis
- Draw bodies (preferably men. I'm so use to drawing girls, it's awkward drawing guys.)
- Finish UTAU contest and actually post it
- Get some homework done before I do alllll of this^

Impossible Things

There are things I want to create. That's right. Love isn't always about boys, it's about the action. Has anyone ever told you what love is? I bet few has even read the definition.

love  

/ləv/

Noun An intense feeling of deep affection

Verb

Feel a deep romantic or sexual attachment to (someone)

Now you know, that love is the deep affection you feel towards a person or thing or idea. The more common one you know, is the verb. I choose the noun. 

I think there's more to life than just love. I think there's romance, adventure; life is something in you. Not in what's around you. Sure, the things effect you does things to your mind and morality, but think about it. 

You never made it this far without those little things. You wouldn't think, you wouldn't walk. Why, you wouldn't even be reading this little blog rant! And to think of all the things you thought was simple was impossible!

Did you know, back in the old days, choirs were for males only. And since the people knew that when boys hit puberty, their voice can no longer reach the high notes, they chop off their... um... willy. e///e

I have poor vocabulary, Caused by the father of mine who I'm ashamed to even say his name. He needs help, I offered. He rejected. His choice.

A lot of people say that, 'when life hands you lemons,' etc. etc. Since I mentioned that 'life' is 'us'. Think about it.

Why are you handing yourself lemons. Everyone's life is different, so there must be a reason why you got those lemons. Make it into juice? Throw it? Crush it? Your 'life' is simply asking you what are you going to do to these lemons. It's not asking you to make Jesus turn it into water or something. It's all about you, and what you make of the things you got.

Ever since...

Ever since I came to this school, my life has been going through a straight line. Just no, ups or downs. No happiness, no sadness. It's all straight. And boring.

Before, my life was this little ball of wibbley-wobbley flimsy-whimsy stuff. And I had fun with that ball of random stuff putted together. I'm not sure how I should described it, but the days before is much better than the days I have now. I wonder why.

I need to study for my physiology test (I'm sure I'll fail like normal).

Overcoming Lack of Attention

There's a theory that says if you don't receive 'positive touches' 8 times a day, you're more likely to be moody. And that's pretty true. Positive touches are anything really. Hugs, holding hands, kisses, ect. ect. Anything that allows you to be touched (as long as it's not being forced. Forcefully touch anyone, and I will find you).

But moving on. Guess what I found on FB today? The guy I liked a long time ago, the one I spent my summer texting away (which is pretty hard to believe) is now reunited with his ex; aka my best friend. It's a forbidden rule to go out with a guy that has dated your best friend, but that rule doesn't apply to emotions (since emotions are uncontrollable sometimes). But now that they're hooked up, I'm pretty disappointed. He was the only guy who I called to when I was crying, during the time my mom was literally being hunted by dad. He heard me out. He heard me. No one does that. No one actually saw me cry, even if it's just hearing it. He was actually special to me.

But ever since I went to WSHS, I stopped texting him. I lost contact with him. I lost him.

And I'm pretty stupid to do that. But y'know. It's actually alright. I might never find a more gentleman like him around ever, but that's fine. I mean, sure, there's no one to tell about my inner thoughts anymore, but if he's happy (and I'm sure he is; he really loved my best friend), then there's nothing more I want.

...

I still need those 8 happy touches. I'm starting to feel like there's nothing to live for in this life of mine.

Spamspamspam

*Randomly pops out of nowhere wearing a shiny red dress*

Welcome~

Today, we're going to present you stuffpoints.com~! This website will totally complete your need for those little points(and other prizes) just by doing simple tasks!

Easy n' simple. I like that!

*grabs the website*

All ya' gotta do is go on the website, sign up, and start your point collectin'! It's mostly free lol (atleast the sign-ups pretty free, eh?)

And that's all, for today's spamming!

*disappears in the darkness*

Jack of all Trades, Master of none?

I'm a jack of all trades. Quite literally. I play the guitar, the piano, and the recorder (which strangely has gone missing). I draw, sing, write, and dance. I'm a trusted friend, a big sister idol, a daughter, and a cousin. I speak French, Vietnamese, and English (plan on learning Japanese and Korean).

Yet, I honestly don't know what to do with my life.

Anything that comes my way that interests me, I learn the basics of it. I never go in too deep with the information, and it makes me kinda envious of the kind of people who are only a master to one. I thought that I would grow up to become a detective, but.

I have so many things I want to be.

A detective. A doctor. A lawyer. A mother. A café owner. A wife. A forensic scientist. A songwriter. A singer. An artist. A mangaka. A choreographer. A therapist. A translator. A pianist. A teacher.

Just what am I?

...I think I'm going through an 'identification crisis'.

...

But I still wanna be a detective...

Symptoms of Wondering Too Much

I've been wandering in Wonderland too much. It helped me escaped reality, but mainly the problems involved in my life. I'm running away, yes, but can it be helped?

If a tree falls down in the forest, will anyone hear?

Another Chapter Put to Rest

It's over.

I won.

It would seem that I was emotionally hurt, but in the end, he cut the ties.

So, I won this little game of love-to-like-to-nothing.

And I'm so bloody happy.


"This game was fun, and I enjoy it, sir.
But for now let's put to rest, and live life, sir."

GAME OVER

Playing the 'Chase' Game

So. I saw him today. And since I was in a bad mood.

I ran away from him.

I saw him again.

I ran again.

...

Is it alittle too much that I'm having fun with this little game of chase?

(Well, he's not really chasing me, he just notices me running away. It's so stupid and pointless that I'm gasping out of air due to laughing so much)

On A Different Topic

I

Absolutely

HATE

TESTS.

Quizes, too! (Except ones that are about my interests)

I took the PLAN test this morning, and I'm pretty sure I failed it 80%. I don't know what to do. I'm kinda worried, y'know. And there's no one I can talk to in this situation. Other than him. Of course.

But due to the fact that he's surprisingly younger than me(the guys I've dated were usually about the same age as me and/or older), we have different classes. That one oblivious idiot.

I don't think I'm in love with him. Atleast, not any more...

...

I'm kinda starting to see a pattern here. I tend to be this little cutesy girl once I met a guy who talks to me. And I somehow mistaken that I have fallen in love with this peculiar person. But after 3-5 days...

...I kinda loose my interest in them.

Hn...

I don't think this is how love truly works. Or maybe it does? Maybe I still do like him in a kind of long-term relationship wise?

Thus, another confusing matter comes up.

I'll never understand the concept of love and like. It get's in your head, and shrouds your logic. Maybe I'm not use to talking to a guy. Maybe that's why I get nervous, or flustered, or even a little mad that they don't notice me. (Despite so, I do like the nickname he gave me, 'Phantom').

I'll never know probably. So many insecurities, I can't even count them all ;w;

I'm Very Clingy

Alright.

I admit it.

I'm very clingy.

I am obsessed with cute little trinkets, and often find myself looking back on the 'old days'. I become to lost in my thoughts, that I want to repeat my past, but it's impossible to commit the same with others. I like someone, and I have these thoughts that I want him to notice me and only me.

I'm so attached to myself and the people I love.

And, no matter how much I try to keep myself away, I find myself noticing my faults and it hurts. I want to break down and sob. Did I forget to mention I'm also emotional?

I'm more likely to cry than to smile, because of this stupid sensitivity level I have. True, I'm not perfect, but I thought I have everything controlled.

But I don't.

It's my will power I'm relying on to not jump on people and cry my heart out. Although I look cool and calm on the out, that's just my 'shell' you see. On the inside...

...I'm more than you think.