Yesterday, my school (mainly the chorus and band people) had a cabaret. So, we'd sing a series of songs in this performance and do our best to sing well.
However, I didn't feel like I was enjoying it. Rather, I was pretty 'bummed out'. Compared to me, the soloists were the stars on stage, and y'know, I can't help but try to out-beat them. But at the same time, I felt like as if the effort I putted into my singing was nothing compare to theirs. They had the wavy-like thing in their voice when they sing long notes, and they get the pitches right, too. My voice was so tiny, and so squeaky and annoying, compared to theirs I felt with me singing in the choir, it'll make no difference.
My voice is so pathetic...
I know that I shouldn't hit myself so down, but I've been compared all my life. Either I was the best or the worst, was what my father taught me. And it's a natural thing for teenagers to do in my age.
I just wish it wouldn't hurt as much...
And y'know, I barely have any friends in school. Spade disappears and never notices me, Diamond never talks to me, Clubs never has time to met up with me.
IS IT THIS HARD TO HAVE A FRIEND?
I'm gonna be honest to you guys, I have never felt like this is my life. Or at least, in a very long time.
I'm so sick and tired of this. Class is about to be over, so bye.
---Prima
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