...
This fanfiction.
Is the greatest fanfic ever.
Especially Hetalian Fangirls. Like me. BWAHAHAHA XD
I DID NOT MAKE THIS. THIS IS ORIGINALLY FROM DEVIANTART.COM.
CREDITS GO TO THE OWNER, IN WHICH I FORGOT HER/HIS NAME.
Warnings: Cursing, sexual... stuff, stereotypical stuff, and dying from laugher.
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It was a beautiful day in japamerica as you strolled gracefully down the street. Your flawless, beautiful, silky, flowing, radiant, magnificent locks glistened in the sun and your voluptuous, fantastic, super bodacious bod was making all the men within a 91,928 mile radius fap themselves dry as every single woman on the planet hated you for being so perfect and smart and amazingly amazing.
Some player hatin' hoe tossed a bomb at you but you just whipped that shit away with your totally rockin' tits and it flew back incinerating her and a nearby building which you walked away from in slow motion, too cool and baller to even bother looking back.
This only made Ludwig VanMeinKampf notice you and immediately fall in love.
"Ach du lieber!" He exclaimed, "I can't contain meinself!"
He ran to you also in slow motion as he ripped off his shirt exposing his perfectly rippling man muscles that were oiled up and shimmering sexily. You pretended not to be totally impressed by his fabulous super saiyan physique because that would make you look too desperate and it's not like you were desperate at all because you're so hot that Jesus Christ had his second coming.
When he was close enough to you, he quickly regained his sturdy German seme composure and punched his penis repeatedly so it wouldn't spring out of his pants. However, one look into your immaculate, sparkling, dazzling eyes snapped his unbreakable Gestapo control and he screamed, "HOP ON MEIN SCHLONG!" As his mastadonic member tore through his lederhosen and punched Japan in the eye.
"DOSHITE!!?!" Japan shouts, cupping his now black eye. He then sees you standing there in your radiant glorious glory and totally forgets that he just got a face full of Germany's Bratwurst and dives into his Mitsubishi vehicle proceeding to drive as fast as he can towards you.
"NANI?? My smarrt asian eyes make it so dificurt to see the road!"
Japan crashes into a crowd of street performers but since he's Japanese, he karate jumped out of his vehicle before it exploded and did a cool martial artsy flip and landed next to you and Germany.
"NEIN!" shouts Germany as he steps between you and Japan who is already tearing of his kimono or whatever because he's soooo hot for you. "She is MEIN! We are in love!"
Japan wips out the katana he had sheathed up his rectum and points it at the angry Doichlander.
"Me and (yourname)-san-chan-sama are destined for to being together! It was foretold in China's fortune cookie! DATTEBAYO!!!!" Just then China leaps into the scene armed with a deadly Hello Kitty embellished rifle. Japan and Germany gasp as China throws himself at your feet and begins stroking them affectionately.
"She have so small lotus feet! We must be wed!" Japan and Germany exchange angry but still very sexy and handsome expressions as they proceed to pull China away from you by his ponytail. You watch them wrestling in a big sweaty totally smexi man heap and yoink out your notebook writing down ideas for your next yaoi fanfiction. Just then, Russia comes charging down the street, pockets full of borscht!
"MY BEAUTIFUL YELDA!" he sings as he sweeps you into his big manly hunky Russian arms.
"SACREBLEU! Unhand my woman, you filthy salope!" France shrieks as he flings croissants, expertly striking Russia in his eyes and uses his baget to stab the offending man in the butthole.
As the other nations fight to the death for your love Italy who was spinning spaghetti noticed you and cried tears of joy because his eyes had never beheld such a juicy ass. He jumped out of the 7th floor window of the building he was in and died. The friendly nation of Yakastonia witnessed this horrible tragedy and felt stricken with grief so he told himself a black joke to cheer up.
"I say, that's a mighty fine behind! Fancy a shag?" Brittain asked as he lept from the trolly he was riding.
"Piss off, you blooming bar pot!" yelled England from the top of Big Ben.
"Silence, you pillock!" Brittain cried as he exposed his hairy chest.
All of the very sexy men began shedding their clothing and struggling to make it to you to claim you as their one and only number one super special awesome chocolatey fudge coated ultra rare 1st edition LOVE!
AMERICAAAAA
"What the hell is that?" Said Germany between punches
AMERICAAAAAAAAAAA
"AIYAA!!" screamed China in fear
AMERICA! FUCK YEAH!
The epic music began to play as America flew through the sky naked with a jetpack spewing napalm from his dong. The other nations scrambled for cover but it was too late because AMERICA FUCK YEAH!
They all were caught in the fiery deathsplosion.
America landed triumphantly in front of you as hamburgers and fries began raining from the sky. He swung his huge massive gigantic American penis and cleared the street of the dead bodies of everyone else who was not American.
"I pledge allegiance TO DAT ASS!"
Tears welled up in your eyes as more romantic and beautiful words have never been spoken to you.
And in the end America wins because FREEDOM IS THE ONLY WAY, FUCK YEAH!
