Overcoming Lack of Attention

There's a theory that says if you don't receive 'positive touches' 8 times a day, you're more likely to be moody. And that's pretty true. Positive touches are anything really. Hugs, holding hands, kisses, ect. ect. Anything that allows you to be touched (as long as it's not being forced. Forcefully touch anyone, and I will find you).

But moving on. Guess what I found on FB today? The guy I liked a long time ago, the one I spent my summer texting away (which is pretty hard to believe) is now reunited with his ex; aka my best friend. It's a forbidden rule to go out with a guy that has dated your best friend, but that rule doesn't apply to emotions (since emotions are uncontrollable sometimes). But now that they're hooked up, I'm pretty disappointed. He was the only guy who I called to when I was crying, during the time my mom was literally being hunted by dad. He heard me out. He heard me. No one does that. No one actually saw me cry, even if it's just hearing it. He was actually special to me.

But ever since I went to WSHS, I stopped texting him. I lost contact with him. I lost him.

And I'm pretty stupid to do that. But y'know. It's actually alright. I might never find a more gentleman like him around ever, but that's fine. I mean, sure, there's no one to tell about my inner thoughts anymore, but if he's happy (and I'm sure he is; he really loved my best friend), then there's nothing more I want.

...

I still need those 8 happy touches. I'm starting to feel like there's nothing to live for in this life of mine.

Another Chapter Put to Rest

It's over.

I won.

It would seem that I was emotionally hurt, but in the end, he cut the ties.

So, I won this little game of love-to-like-to-nothing.

And I'm so bloody happy.


"This game was fun, and I enjoy it, sir.
But for now let's put to rest, and live life, sir."

GAME OVER

On A Different Topic

I

Absolutely

HATE

TESTS.

Quizes, too! (Except ones that are about my interests)

I took the PLAN test this morning, and I'm pretty sure I failed it 80%. I don't know what to do. I'm kinda worried, y'know. And there's no one I can talk to in this situation. Other than him. Of course.

But due to the fact that he's surprisingly younger than me(the guys I've dated were usually about the same age as me and/or older), we have different classes. That one oblivious idiot.

I don't think I'm in love with him. Atleast, not any more...

...

I'm kinda starting to see a pattern here. I tend to be this little cutesy girl once I met a guy who talks to me. And I somehow mistaken that I have fallen in love with this peculiar person. But after 3-5 days...

...I kinda loose my interest in them.

Hn...

I don't think this is how love truly works. Or maybe it does? Maybe I still do like him in a kind of long-term relationship wise?

Thus, another confusing matter comes up.

I'll never understand the concept of love and like. It get's in your head, and shrouds your logic. Maybe I'm not use to talking to a guy. Maybe that's why I get nervous, or flustered, or even a little mad that they don't notice me. (Despite so, I do like the nickname he gave me, 'Phantom').

I'll never know probably. So many insecurities, I can't even count them all ;w;

Lack of Friends

I want more friends.
(\_____/)
(● q v q ●)
^Honestly. Look at my poor pikachu face! I need some sort of friendship with females. It's essential to my social life. I mean, Spade is my friend, but she's been ignoring me, and AlchemistD isn't talking to me. (AlchemistD is... a guyfriend...? IDK!) 

I feel so bored and empty and hungry. I won't be surprised if I ended up gaining a couple of pounds this week because of the amount of food I've been eating. 

Seriously serious. I need a, like, a friend. Like, seriously.

Or else you'll, like, seriously get headaches from listening to me.

-----Like, I'm Purima.